When I say

When I say "I feel alive again."

What I mean is that I don't wanna kill myself.

What I mean is that in this very moment there are reasons to be living.

I mean I can hear the voice of God once more.

When I say "I'm feeling like myself again."

What I mean is that I'm a mystery even to myself.

What I mean is that I'm finding new things that feel like the old things that once made me feel whole.

I mean I've found something on the outside that's reflected back something on the inside and some things are starting to make sense again.

I mean someone or something has brightened me out of ambient mode

I mean the call came from inside the house and I answered it and we talked all night and neither one of us ever had to hang up first.

When I say "I'm ready to be a human in the world again."

What I mean is that nothing we've been doing feels humane.

What I mean is that I want to breathe the air into my lungs so deep I can feel it in my toes.

I mean I need to see the oceans and the mountains all at once.

I mean I want to plant a seed, nourish it through growth, I want to pluck the fruit and I want to squeeze the juice out of the ripeness of my harvest with my bare hands and toss it's remains into the soil and drink up the liquid.

The Sun has left Scorpio and entered Sagittarius; we all feel resurrected.